Tonight I had a great experience. I went to a play in a small café theatre that was produced by the Teacher’s cousin, who is also my employee. The play was interesting and the actresses performed well, but as usual when I have a theater experience it isn’t the content of the play that made the experience for me. As I was sitting there watching this play my internal dialogue was going at full capacity. It occurred to me after having listened to some of The Cousin’s ambitions and creative hopes over the last year how proud I was to know someone who didn’t just talk about doing things. He isn’t just someone who writes plays and then files them away for no one to see. He did not write tonight’s play, but he does intend to use the success of this play, the first his production company has put on, to put on plays he has written. As with most things when I internalize them I start to make them about me and this is not different. I ask myself, "Why shouldn’t I write a play for his company to put on?" The voices shout back "Because anything you write would not relate to these young urbane creative types and while it could be full of meaning how would they perform something that they do not relate to." I will have to remember to thank The Cousin when I see him next for giving me even the fleetest of moments to think about being a writer and to be able to vicariously enjoy the creative process he is a part of.
One other item of note for today and that is the fact that I did something completely out of character. I offered to help my SysAdmin with a project he is working on. My motives did not start out very pure because I am hoping to get him to come work for me and this project is sort of standing in the way right now, but in the end I could just hear how stressed he is about completing this and thought why not help where I can. Of course I haven’t actually lifted a finger yet.